Confused + Conflicted = Blog post at 4 am :|

Well, yes it IS really almost 4 am in the morning (or night, whatever you choose to label it).

The reason why I am up and exercising my poor fingers is a hell lot of confusion. As of now, nothing (yes, NOTHING except Sukhi, Bhags and a few other people) is going right in my life. I have no job (and I don't care), no sense of direction (career wise) or a plan. Actually, the truth is I don't believe in plans. I never have. Nothing really goes according to plan, does it? If it did I would be working in probably The Economist or something similarly awesome, would have know what to do next...or so to say the least. And then, would also have had a plan b, just in case plan a fails. But, there is no plan a so that completely erases the need for a plan b, right?

Anyways, so the confusion is UK Vs Bombay, Editing Vs Writing, Newspaper Vs Magazine Vs Wesite, Journalism Vs stupid ass content writing, Pounds Vs Rupees, LIFE Vs Sad life. Looks like an easy choice, right? I would so love to be in your shoes right now and just get away from all this crap. But I can't. Probably it was me who brought it on, so I have to face it now. Like no one forced me to go to UK to study, right? So why crib now? But apart from cribbing, there isn't a lot I can do. Its just so frustrating, you have no idea. And specially because I have such an unstable brain. In fact, I am not sure of what I want. Yes, I suck at times and you have to deal with it. I am not perfect; if I were, then I'd have a plan (refer to the paragraph above), both a and b, and maybe even c just to be sure .

Normally I would have found some sort of sarcastic I-Don't-Care humour in this situation. But I just can't :/ which bugs me more than I can express in words. Why isn't there a bright side? There has to be, no? As per the-silver-lining theory/saying, there must be one. Perhaps someone just forgot to add the silver lining, or worse, stole it. I know I don't make a lot of sense, but trust me, nothing does right now (to ME at least).

There are people who want me to stay [:)], people who think I should give UK a fair try, and those who simply confuse [:|]. But seriously, have never been so confused and aimless in life. I don't like being like this. As in, I can live without a plan but not without an aim. Its just so loser-ish. And yes, I may be very unrealistic when I say, this whole situation is for losers and I am not one. But I don't see the signs that sets me apart from this category. OMG, I am just blabering nonsense, isn't it?

*deep breath* Well, wait and watch might just be the name of the game right now. But there isn't enough patience either. OMG, I such a problem magnet right now that. Need a hug :(

Anyways, more later, when I'm probably a little more sane.

But right now, feels like life was never crap-er than this, nor can it get any worse (but the latter I am not very sure of). *fingers crossed*

Can't think of anything appropriate

This is weird. I'm not exactly bored but I wouldn't even call this 'mood' happy or anything. I have nothing to write, my mind is almost blank but still my fingers insist on tapping the keyboards. (It would have been so much better if they just went jhsdbkjfreifuiencmd nmdhkhefoirehcnd :P ).

This is sooo cool, I mean I was out of the blogging scene for like a year (almost!) but still I got a comment after posting something yesterday! Isn't that just amazing! (now I can call this 'mood' excited :P ) Its like getting a filmfare or something :P Like...wow! Anways, let us not get carried away. The point is I don't really have much to write here :( I mean, its just an average day, grey, cold and dull, its just the average me, bored with vacations, unwilling to do the work I'm supposed to...blah blah blah!

BTW, changing tracks bigtime, I was going through my blog from like the time I started writing and now and what I 'critically analysed' is that 1. I'm using proper English. Like grown ups! No U for You, n for and or wat for what :P 2. I don't blog much (as if I actually had to analyse anything to fins this out!) and 3. (sadly) my posts are getting boring by the day! Really. (I want to say 'like grown ups' again, but I dare not!)

Anyways, there's no point in blabbering on with boring stuff. Will update as soon as my life becomes exciting again.

Till then, nothing really. bye.

*Sigh*

Things are happening so fast that I hardly can feel its been over a half a year now that I haven't posted any blog!!!! (the sentence doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean, right?)

Anyways, the point here is - time goes very fast. Its been 7 months in UK now, 7 months of hating the cold, the food, just about anything. But then 7 months of cooking and mastering the art :P cunningly avoiding any kind of plagiarism in my assignments, doing well at assignments, spending unnecessarily and so on...its been great over all. 

Though everythings going good, great actually, I feel I do not have friends here. ANY friends. As in, I'm a difficult person :P (I admit). Its quite a task to understand me...and I've had friends who did :( but the jerk that I am, I haven't really made any effort to keep in 'regular' touch with them. I'm so stooooooooooooopid...I reallly am! And this realization becomes all the more prominent when I'm feeling low (i.e. RIGHT NOW)

Anyways, I realllly wish I could call up Sak right now and talk to her forever...even Sukhi! But it must be like 4 or 5 in the morning there and all I'd get would be 'are you nuts' replies! :P God, I miss them so much! Koi time machine banao!!!!! :(

Miss you my girls...the bestest ever girls I've known! I love you both...loads! 

(P.S. I will try [I dare not say promise again :P] to update this page regularly...TRY, I repeat)

*Sigh*

:-P The secret...revealed

Well, as always, I have reasons for not coming online really often! Have been really busy with the 'secret' that I've mention neeche waale post mein. Well, here you go...Be part of my happiness!

:) Apart from being in LOVE with Farhan Akhtar, there is something major that has happened. I'm going to UK for my post-grad studies. University Of Northampton, it is! Kaboooom...the bomb has been burst and I'm smiling :)

Yeah...there is also a reason for not mentioning anything of this nature earlier simply because you can never be too sure about the Visa. Stupid people might just reject it because of fuckall reasons, so I thought its best to keep it under wraps until everything is concrete (otherwise there would have been potholes :P )

Anyways...Wish me luck. My subject would be International Relations :) I'm reallly kicked about it, and I'll be flying on the 11th sept (yeah, I know. Some date to fly, eh?)

Anyways, Watch this space for more dope. I'll keep you posted.

P.S. Extremely sorry about the 2-days-only promise :P

All Apologies!

:( Okay if you're done with giving me dirty looks for not updating my blog, can I clarify why I didn't do that?

There is something big...some huge news that I want to give you, all of you BUT abhi tak loha garam nahi hua :P meaning it isn't the rightest right time yet. I swear something more than 'getting bored' had kept me busy all these days and I'm sure you'll flip when you hear what it is!!! But, thoda sabr...I can't tell you now!

Come back in 2 days and I'll tell you everything about it, every detail....trust me! I will. And please, don't think I'm having a gala time keeping this big secret from you, I'm having a tough time as well. I'm a GIRL, so it is mighty difficult to NOT tell away secrets :( but if I'm trying so hard, toh kuch toh baat hai na?

Anyways, I'm sure I'll blurt it out if I keep typing anymore! So, Ciao...seriously sorry for frustrating you all these days when you'd come to this page and see that this stupid jerk (me) hasn't updated anything on her blog. Useless Girl.

2 days. Cya real soon. Muah! :)

Classic case of Over-Eating!

Ever heard of boredom? Sure...But ever heard of boredom-eating? i guess not, because its a brand new copyright-ed concept :-P the world would have been a nicer, tastier place to live in had this phenomenon swept across it...but jaane do, considering the food crisis and Bush ka claims that Indians are eating up too much food ( :-P what was he thinking!!!! ) boredom eating doesnt reallly seem to be a very good idea for the world! so...AVOID

Let me explain what it is...You're bored, You eat. Simple as that!

Anyways, its a relatively good thing compared to other things people do when they are bored :-P like, RGV makes RGV ki AAg when he's bored, Shiv Seniks try and make everything 'bombay-ish' into 'mumbai-ish' when they're bored, and Osama darling f**ks up America when he's bored..so comparitively my boredom thing is better off...what say ! :-P

BUT...most of the times, my brain ( who is supposed to be sending signals saying the stomach's full, stop eating ) stops acting when it gets pictures of food from my lens-wala-eyes :-P stupid brains! anyways....i end up over eating :-P and embarasssing myself ROYALLLLLLLY...promise me you wont laugh and only then i'll tell you this puke-y incident :-P

Okay, i trust you that you wouldn't laugh...so here goes! I'd been to a friends place in delhi to meet his Mom..he was in Bombay :-P but his mom cooks awesome foood ( foood again...dekhaaa, thats where the problem lies! ) anyways, i went, i over ate, i puke-d....eeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

Yes i did...right in front of his mom and nani :-P I feel so grossed even now, but i ate tooo much for my chotusa stomach's capacity, and when i went to wash my hands in the wash basin which was right next to the dinning table...byock, i puke-d ! :-P

Let's not go into details of what happened next...i pretended to be sick and got away with it...hehehehhehehe! but anyways, my obsession with food got me red-blue-purple-and-goes-knows-what-colours in the face!

STOP LAUGHING...you promised not to laugh!!! :-( grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...wish i could stuff you with foood and killl you !!!!

CTRL+A Delete...I dint write anything, You din't read anything...so conditions 1 and 2 imply that you don't remember anything i said...so ;-) AB HASO!!!!!

I went bowling !!!!!!!!!

Ouch...the hand that types hurts :-P I mean, literallly it does...not because of too much typing, dodoheads, dint you read the headline for this post ???? Yeah...I went bowling !!!!!!! :-)

Its not the 1st time i bolwed...ive done that before on videogames :-P n i thought i was pretty good at it B-) BUT real life is zameen-asmaan different from the virtual world ( like you dint know this :-P ) I suck at the real-life bowling :-( but then again...so what :-P what goes of my father if i dont make it to the bowling championship :-P pointed baat, right?

Anyways, it was Mitul's b'day ( my sis ka friend ) so we went to this nice bowling alley in Hiranandani Medows, Thane ( its nice...100 bucks on regular days, 70 on thursdays ;-) dont you just louve me for this info!!!! ) so, like i said...i had never tried my hand on real-life bowling so im like what the hell, try karna hi padegaa!!!

We bought those tickets n stuff, 'bought' socks because apparently you cant go around bowling in your shoes, you'll slip and break your crown like Jack ( the Jack n Jill fellow, remember????)

So, i put my cute lil ballerina's in the kona and wore those white stupid socks :-P We were 5 of us and i guess 3 of us knew the 5Ws and 1H of bowling...

I looked around...yeah there were cute guys but i wasnt loookign at them!!!! i was looking at the technique of throwing the ball...but as expected i dint master the art just by looking at them :-P The worst part is, even after playing an entire 10 sets ka game, i dint master the assy art of bowling at all !!!!!!!!!!!

The ball, if i may swear at it, was HEAVY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dint know that 8 kgs was the least heavy ball available. BUT, the 8 kgs wala ball dint have a pink one...there were gross greens so, almost naturallly ( i'm a GIRL na :-P ) i picked up the 12kg wala ball, which was nice n pink ! and the rest, as some felllow rightly said...is history !!!

I was given warnings 3 times :-P for banging the ball too hard...and everytime, the ball would go straight up to those bottle-type thingies and magicallly, turn, without touching the bottles, and go spinning into that gutter!!!!!! so much trass for my hand, and not even 1 bottle fell properly :-( grrrr, so much for crying out loud !

But trust me, everyone should go bowling atleast once in their entiore life, like a tirth yaatra :-P its an absolute essential :-) but try not to go behind the stupid ball's colour ( Like me! ) because the right hand is totaaaaaaaaallllllllly gone right now!

Bahut ho gaya typing, cant type anymore :-( Damn You, stupid 12 kg ka pink ball :-( so, Moral of the story = Don't go behind 'looks', you'll pachtaav ;-) Ahem! as in 'Bowling' strictly ;-)